Is Getting a Relaxer a Lifestyle or a Hairstyle

Hello to all of my lovely naturals,

Well in my many years of being natural and not being natural this is a debate that I often find myself into and I have come to notice that people get angry over this issue. I know that I am guilty of praising natural women and barely noticing non naturals...but that doesn't mean that I don't compliment a fly hairstyle its just that I get super excited about a dope natural doo. In most African-American households little girls get there hair relaxed as young as 6 because their Mothers complain that their hair is not "manageable", actually I know of a girl that had a relaxer put in at 2 and she has a permanent bald spot. Before we start shaking our heads at these practices we need to understand where the Mothers are coming from. Think about it if your hair was deemed "unmanageable" at the tender age of 6 or, for argument sake before you were 10. This means that you never learned to "manage" you hair so to your Mother who has had her hair relaxed all of her life you hair is "unmanageable". I say this to show that our hair in our natural state is "unmanageable" when using tools for people with no curls or when compared to bone straight hair. You will often hear natural women say that they never knew beauty until they were able to see their natural hair. If you have never even had the opportunity to see or touch your natural hair and then you go natural it is an eye opening experience. If all that you know is your relaxed hair then I would consider your relaxer being a lifestyle choice for you, I know calling a relaxer a lifestyle sounds silly but I consider being natural a lifestyle for most. I can remember times when I would opt out of going out because I needed a "relaxer" or when I was a young natural and I insisted on putting my hair in 2 strand twists because I could not imagine going outside with my hair unkept. Those actions are taught not by my parents (whom did not let me relax my hair until I was 14) but by society. If we teach our children at a young age that their hair is beautiful,curly,thick and so on and so forth then we will not have teenagers and adults running to the salon in order to avoid that dreaded kitchen showing its face. By teaching our children that our hair is beautiful then we will change the negative connotations behind getting your hair relaxed. I have been natural, gone to a relaxer, and gone back natural and have no shame...because getting a relaxer is not a lifestyle for me it is just a hairstyle. I have seen my hair "managed" it and decided that right now I want a change like I am sure that many of you have done. If you have not witnessed your natural hair with you own two eyes or touched it...I suggest that you try it you might like it and if not then change it up but at least try it. Oh P.S. my number one irritation is if your hair is falling out or not growing stop relaxing it and watch it grow like wildfire



Always,


Verano